Hey Readers! Long time no posting 😀
I’ve been swamped in post-college life (apartment hunting, job training, and exploring Boston even more now that I’ll be living in the actual city). As you’ve probably noticed, this blog is a hot mess. It’s still very much so under construction, but I couldn’t resist posting about the Supreme Court’s decision today.
YAY for GAY!!!
And while it seems like everyone is celebrate, I keep seeing all these posts talking about why the fight isn’t over and why this isn’t a victory at all. Now to this/people who say this I want to say a couple things:
1. It’s a victory. As a queer woman of color from Texas it’s amazing to think that I can get married in my home state. Yes, I recognize it’s a privilege for that to even be on the table for me. Yes, I know that just being you have a marriage license doesn’t mean you’re “more legit.” Love is love, right? Right. But the thing is I like that I can give a big f-you to all those racist, sexist, homophobic assholes in my home state (and everywhere) who said this would never happen. AND, I know my very closeted younger self would be thrilled right now. It is for that reason I pretty much started crying in the middle of Roche Bros. (But actually.)
2. There is a lot of work left to do. On one hand you have the fact that marriage isn’t really an equal institution even for straight couples. There’s a lot of messed up ideals holding up the “institution of marriage.” It’s still pretty sexist and racist and there’s a lot to unpack with “straight marriage” alone. And then there’s the fact that this idea of top-down change, passing things like marriage equality which are great for upper and middle class couples but not so great for everyone else (because there’s still racism and sexism and transphobia…).
Change needs to happen from the bottom. Privileges and opportunities rarely trickle down. You have to deal with the biggest threat first and so while things like marriage equality, gender neutral bathrooms, and other “privileged” things my fellow Wellesley classmates like to debate are important, they don’t really enact change for all people. Just the lucky few who don’t have to deal with the fact that if they tell their parents they’re gay they might be kicked out of their home, or worse. I get that, I really do, it’s part of the reason I waited until I was finished with college to tell my mother I’m 1) gay and 2) have a girlfriend. And so for most people this isn’t a day of celebration.
3. And yet, there’s hope. Like I said, most things don’t trickle down but many of us are dedicated, constantly working, advocating for the rights of more than just the lucky few. And we aren’t planning on giving up anytime soon. I believe in my lifetime I will see a lot of things such as more rights and protections and services for those who intersect multiple identities, for those whose only problem isn’t that they can’t get married. It might be, first, that they have no home. It’s really important for us to remember this when we speak of marriage equality. I don’t want to take this day/week, etc. of celebration away from anyone. I just want to say that while I disagree with those who say the SCOTUS decision isn’t important, I do agree that this only scratches at the surface.
For now I’m celebrating. It’s a privilege I have (a privilege many of you reading this have), and I know that. I’m celebrating for my current self and for my younger self who would be surprised and so proud of the woman I’ve become. I think so often we’re so focused on what’s next that we don’t stop to celebrate the small stuff. This is one of the small things. Growing up in Texas, I never thought I’d see this day. And so even though there’s so much work to be done, though the fight, my fight is FAR from over, though black lives and bodies are still being violated, though undocumented queers face a lot of discrimination, though queer woman of color are often barely recognized when it comes to the “gay rights” movement, though I still don’t feel safe walking some places with my girlfriend or even mentioning I have one, I’m happy and I’m thankful to have this day.