alllgayeverywhereHey Readers! Long time no posting ūüėÄ

I’ve been swamped in post-college life (apartment hunting, job training, and exploring Boston even more now that I’ll be living in the actual city). As you’ve probably noticed, this blog is a hot mess. It’s still very much so under construction, but I couldn’t resist posting about the Supreme Court’s decision today.

YAY for GAY!!!

And while it seems like everyone is celebrate, I keep seeing all these posts talking about why the fight isn’t over and why this isn’t a victory at all. Now to this/people who say this¬†I want to say a couple¬†things:

1. It’s a victory. As a queer woman of color from Texas it’s amazing to think that I can get married in my home state. Yes, I recognize it’s a privilege for that to even be on the table for me. Yes, I know that just being you have a marriage license doesn’t mean you’re “more legit.” Love is love, right? Right. But the thing is I like that I can give a big f-you to all those racist, sexist, homophobic assholes in my home state (and everywhere) who said this would never happen. AND, I know my very closeted younger self would be thrilled right now. It is for that reason I pretty much started crying in the middle of Roche Bros. (But actually.)

2. There is a lot of work left to do. On one hand you have the fact that marriage isn’t really an equal institution even for straight couples. There’s a lot of messed¬†up ideals holding up¬†the “institution of marriage.” It’s still pretty sexist and racist and there’s a lot to unpack with “straight marriage” alone. And then there’s the fact that this idea of top-down change, passing things like marriage equality which are great for upper and middle class couples but not so great for everyone else (because there’s still racism and sexism and transphobia…).c669b873c6ab0980b004988578bbb17b

Change needs to happen from the bottom. Privileges and opportunities rarely¬†trickle down. You have to deal with the biggest threat first and so while things like marriage equality, gender neutral bathrooms, and other “privileged” things my fellow Wellesley classmates like to debate are important, they don’t really enact change for all people. Just the lucky few who don’t have to deal with the fact that if they tell their parents they’re gay¬†they might be kicked out of their home, or worse. I get that, I really do, it’s part of the reason I waited until I was finished with college to tell my mother I’m 1) gay and 2) have a girlfriend. And so for most people this isn’t a day of celebration.

3. And yet, there’s hope. Like I said, most¬†things¬†don’t trickle down but many of us are¬†dedicated, constantly working, advocating for the rights of more than just the lucky few. And we¬†aren’t planning on giving up anytime soon. I believe in my lifetime I will see a lot of things such as more rights and protections and services for those who intersect multiple identities, for those whose only problem isn’t that they can’t get married. It might be, first, that they have no home. It’s really important for us to remember this when we speak of marriage equality. I don’t want to take this day/week, etc. of celebration away from anyone. I just want to say that while I disagree with those who say the SCOTUS decision isn’t important, I do agree that this only scratches at the surface.

So beautifully written, so true

So beautifully written, so true

For now I’m celebrating. It’s a privilege I have (a privilege many of you reading this have), and I know that. I’m celebrating for my current self¬†and for my younger self who would be surprised and so proud of the woman I’ve become. I think so often we’re so focused on what’s next that we don’t stop to celebrate the small stuff. This is one of the small things. Growing up in Texas, I never thought I’d see this day. And so even though there’s so much work to be done, though the fight, my fight is FAR from over, though black lives and bodies are still being violated, though undocumented queers face a lot of discrimination, though queer woman of color are often barely recognized when it comes to the “gay rights” movement, though I still don’t feel safe walking some places with my girlfriend or even mentioning I have one,¬†I’m happy and I’m thankful to have this day.

#LoveWins

Best,

Patrice

Written by Patrice

4 Comments

Karen Rock

YAY for GAY and the rest of America- especially the next generation who won’t know a country without equal marriage rights for all its citizens. I’m not worried about changing the older generation because most are entrenched- it’s easier to hold on to ignorance than consider things in a new light- but for this generation of kids, this is the law of the land and they will accept it as many of their friends will have two moms or two dads and there starts empathy. They are where long lasting change comes from… just as the current generation began the fight, they will defend it!

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Patrice

Isn’t it so great to have hope in/for future generations!? Thanks for reading, Karen ūüôā

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Laura W.

YAY!!!

I’m not deluded into thinking that we have Solved Everything Now, and I doubt anyone who has been following or is affected by these issues is…but I’m still extremely pleased about it. I, too, am surprised and very glad to see this happen in my lifetime.

PS, I’m interested to see what you do with the site.

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Patrice

haha. oh we are SO far from solving everything. but it’s nice to have some progress ūüôā

Also, I’m interested too, LOL. As you can see there’s a lot of work needing to be done, design wise so… hopefully I figure it all out soon!

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