This part of my characterization workshop for the main character of my completed manuscript BLOOD OF ISIS.  Aziza’s thoughts in the post occur during the opening lines of Chapter One before Aziza’s mother calls her name.

I’ve been traveling my whole life.  It’s hard never having friends and always being the new girl.  Combine those with a mother who is too preoccupied with her career to notice your wants and needs and a father who is nonexistent (I guess he got the memo early on and decide to leave and start a new family…I was only ten), I guess to say my life sucks would be an understatement.

It used to be a little better back when I could stay with grandma, then she had a stroke and instead of staying to take care of her, my mother placed her in an assisted living home.  So now I rarely get to see her.

All I have is Buttercup which isn’t saying much because he’s a horse, great for listening but not much responding.  I suppose my good grades should count for something but when you’ve changed schools eight times in the past five years, you either become a delinquent or a nerd and complete loner.

So here I am, perfect GPA in hand, combine that with my equestrian success and I could probably get into numerous colleges but the thing is…I don’t care.  I don’t want to go to Brown, my mother’s alma mater.  Why would I want to go to school in Rhode Island?  I like huge cities, international cities places where you can get completely lost, places where no one knows if you’re the loner.  When I was thirteen we moved to this really small town, my mom was a guest lecturer at some liberal arts college in the area.  It was horrible, everyone knew everyone, so on my first day of school boy did I stand out.  Can you imagine going through all the things that thirteen year olds go through and being the new kid in a school (7th & 8th only) composed of one hundred and twenty-six students?

It’s kind of funny when you think about it though, I have grades some people would love to have and a mother who is practically famous, however all I want is a friend.  I tried to explain it to my mother but she just doesn’t get it.  No, she doesn’t really have friends but she doesn’t care either.  She would rather look at bones.  Of course, lucky for her, everyone loves her.  I hate it, I have struggled my whole life to fit in, I want friends and she, who could care less, has everyone’s admiration and respect.

People just don’t understand, they take friendship for granted.  They assume no matter what their friends will be with them.  One good or maybe just cool thing about being a loner is that you see everything.  It’s all one big show, one big play, or as Shakespeare once put it “All the world’s a stage…”

I’ve seen girls flirt with and try to steal their best friend’s boyfriends then claim innocence when the guy breaks up with the friend, and I’ve seen girls gossip about each other behind their back the hug each other and play nice when they’re together.  It’s amazing the things people take for granted then when it’s gone they wonder what happened.

I have this above normal obsession with Harry Potter.  His beginning parallels my life so well.  When I was eleven I made this wish, I wanted to go to boarding school, to a place like Hogwarts.  I wanted to have instant friends like Harry’s.  Sure he had to go through some stuff and it wasn’t easy but at least he had friends.  Yes, I know, they had their issues but in the end, when it really mattered they were always there for each other.

Well, I’m finally getting to go to boarding school.  Unfortunately this happily ever after is too late; I stopped making that wish six years ago.

Written by Patrice

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